Before finding my Feel Great Weight, much of my social life revolved around food-focused get-togethers with friends. My calendar always seemed to be packed with birthday dinners, barbecues, and Sunday brunches. At these events, it was difficult to stick to my diet because I saw my friends feasting on fattening foods and gulping-down cocktails. Needless to say, the more active my social life became, the more pounds I piled on.
When I began my weight-loss journey, I worried that it would be hard to shed the pounds without shedding some of my less-than-healthy friends. But I also knew that it wouldn’t be any fun to fit into my skinny jeans if I could only wear them at home, alone and friendless.
At first, my friends were not at all supportive of my weight-loss efforts and continued to tempt me with rounds of cocktails and fatty appetizers at happy hour. Most of the time, I ended up caving in and indulging. My friends were my diet’s worst enemies! I soon realized that if I didn’t make some changes to my social life, I would never lose weight. But I also didn’t want to choose between my friends and having a waistline. Here’s what I did.
Pay attention
It’s a great joy for me to share a meal or a few cocktails with my friends, but when I dined with them, I often lost track of how much I ate. In the excitement of conversation, I didn’t notice how many tortilla chips I’d eaten or if I was on my second (or third) dinner roll. Lingering at the table didn’t help either: the longer I stayed at the table, the more I ate. I’d order another beer, snack on a plate of cold french fries, or finish off a friend’s brownie sundae. Now, when I am finished eating, I put my napkin (and any other trash, like a straw wrapper) on top of my plate. It signals to the server that he can take away my plate, plus it stops me from picking at it. I never want to eat off a plate with garbage on it!
I also try to pace myself with the slowest eater at the table, which helps me pay attention to how much I am eating instead of wolfing down my food without a second thought. And I make my cocktails last forever by taking little sips instead of big gulps. Sometimes I’ll drink them so slowly that they become warm and unappetizing. It’s so much easier to abandon a lukewarm beer than an ice-cold one!
Don’t become that friend
One of my closest friends is a self-proclaimed “drama queen,” but I felt obligated to console her every time she recapped her most recent life crisis. This often took place over a glass (or half bottle) of wine or a pint of ice cream. I quickly became her go-to eating and drinking buddy anytime she had a problem. I always enjoyed chatting with her and blowing off steam after a tough workweek, but three beers and a plate of nachos later, I felt miserable about myself.
Now, if my friend calls me in a panic, we discuss her stressful situation over the phone and plan a time to meet up for a walk or a cup of coffee—that way our gabfest doesn’t turn into a full-blown binge! Limiting my nights out to one night a week, typically Fridays, has made all the difference in dealing with my own food drama.
Next page: Find some healthy role models—and become one yourself
Comments (19)
This article is perfect especially with the situation at hand for myself.
I’ve been on this determined weight loss for five months now and I don’t feel like my best friend has supported me in any way. Not only has she been huffy and critical about what I eat (she’ll go out everywhere instead of making dinner and order or eat whatever she wants while I try to watch what I am eating and not eat too much of it), but she has made comments that hurt my feelings, she even wants to get in the gym and spend time biking but everytime I ask her, she makes some excuse and doesn’t come with me. It’s gotten to a point where I’ve stopped asking her cuz I know its pointless. But with all this, she gets mad that I want to spend a few hours at the gym and makes snide comments about my idea to bike places rather than drive.
She is a rather competitive person but as many times as I tell her that if she wants to lose weight that she has to get up and get out (never mention anything about food), she justs hums and haws at the idea. I’m beginning to feel that her and I are in two different places and that the friends I do have from the gym are better for me.
this was so so useful. thanks so much
I work a lot.I hardly have time for myself. I’m constantly snacking. Its terrible. I’m allergic to peanuts and milk. So its hard to diet with a horrible immune system as mine. And I love the napkin on your plate to adress the waiter your done. Awesome idea!
Your ideas are keepers! There are at least three kinds of friends that I enjoy in my life: Friends for a Season, Friends for a Reason, and Friends for Life. Those in the last two categories know that I must stay active and that my healthy choices for eating are my gifts to myself. That doesn’t preclude my exercising good listening skills while we walk, or before/after we jump in the neighborhood pool for a good swim. If something is troubling either me or them, it generally responds better when the endorphins that we generate are added to “active listening.” Now there is a new definition for an old idea, “active” listening!
I think you had a good idea about putting your plate back,but it could be also good if you´d explain to all your friends you wanna lose weight.So you could go to a restaurant which made vegetarian plates or healthy food
Grab your Free Vegetarian Fat Loss Meal Plans
I think those are great options for the friends you have today! At some point in the evolution with weight loss, I believe you will find your closest friends will share your values. Suggest the walk over the happy hour and you wont have the struggle at all! See tribal influence post from July 1, 2009 at http://www.fill-my-cup.com/blogthebook.htm to take this to the next level! great willpower! congrats!
What bad manners to put your “trash” , much less your cloth napkin in your empty plate. Practice some self-control, push your plate back, without filling it with paper trash, and soiling the linens.
The whole idea is help with self-control. A cloth napkin is there to be soiled and it is not bad manners to put a straw on your dinner plate when done. Your idea of pushing your plate back is good but if that doesn’t work this Tina’s idea is also an option.